Marijuana is a filthy drug & makes you retarded…

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MARIJUANA IS A FILTHY DRUG AND MAKES YOU RETARDED…WHEREAS ALCOHOL AND CIGARS MAKE YOU SMART AND BRAVE

A pseudo-scientific inquiry by John Black

A year and a half out from the cannabis referendum and the air is thick with pot-head panegyrics to the delights of Mary Jane. Well I’m here to tell you the dope fiends have got it wrong. It’s almost as if their minds have been befuddled by some substance they have been ingesting on a regular basis. Listen up youngsters and read my quips: Marijuana is a filthy drug for greenies, hipsters and social studies teachers. Morons in other words. If you smoke it you may become one too.

I base this not on some snap judgement so characteristic of the middle-aged conservative; I base it mostly on a snap judgement characteristic of the middle-aged conservative; the rest I base on personal experience and science. Let’s start with the science.

Reliable long term studies on the health effects of marijuana are actually quite rare. It’s hard to find adults who will admit to long term cannabis use. Something to do with it being illegal. Those who will are often A-grade mentalists (there’s your first tip-off). One of the few decent studies was held right here in New Zealand. 1037 Dunedinites were

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