‘I’ve heard some dope rumours that it’s all about enjoyment’

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OPINION/SATIRE: The Prime Minister has called for an urgent inquiry into the quality of New Zealand grown marijuana after a Stuff survey of current MPs found a majority describing less-than-positive experiences with the drug.

In the survey released in Wednesday’s Press, 18 MPs admitted to smoking marijuana, of whom nine said they did not enjoy it, two could not recall what it was like and one reported falling asleep immediately afterwards.

Speaking to reporters, PM Jacinda Ardern said she was “shocked, shocked” at the findings of the survey.

“Frankly I had no idea that the quality of dope, weed, herb, reefer, ganga – or whatever people call it – I had no idea it was this dodgy. If this level of consumer dissatisfaction is accurate it represents a damning

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